I always like the foreigners best

Yesterday evening after work I had to go to one of the local high schools to do some student interviews with next year's prospective college students. I can't say I really felt like doing the interviewing; it was cold and dark and raining and I would far rather have gone straight home to the family. Most of the interviews were either boring (straight A students who know exactly what they want to study) or frustrating (students with unrealistic expectations - E in Maths at GCSE, wants to do Maths and Physics at A level). But one girl really touched me. She was there without a parent or guardian - unusual, since the norm is that students come to the interview with a parent. She and her mother had arrived in this country two years ago not speaking a word of English (she was Polish) but her English was already excellent. She's clearly clever - she had a very good set of predicted grades - and she also seemed far more mature than most girls her age. Very poised, very adult. We spent a long time chatting about her subject choices, and her experiences here, and she told me - but not in a self-pitying way - how hard it was for her at school, being foreign, not having friends, struggling to get to grips with a new culture - and how much she was looking forward to making a new start at college. It just broke my heart... I hope she settles in well at college, and that she finds a friendship group... Kids can be so clique-y... Unfortunately she didn't choose my subject so I won't be teaching her next year. But I'll keep an eye out for her..

Home alone!

Sophie was at a sleepover last night, and Emily was working 5.30 till 9.30, so Bobby and I had the house all to ourselves for a few hours. Posh pizza and nice wine from M&S, crackling fire, candles, white chocolate liqueur ... great night in. Till 9.45, when we had to vacate the livingroom to tactfully make way for Emily and her friends. Felt a bit like being evicted from paradise.

This morning's been good too. We went for an early-morning run around Earlswood Lakes,


...then home to coffee and the Guardian. And we've done the housework - I love the feeling when all the chores are done and the house is tranquil and organised, so now we can relax and feel completely guilt-free too.

I will have to do some work this afternoon though ... it's a very good thing that I truly like the subjects I teach.

thursday interlude

I spent a couple of hours after work this evening interviewing some of next year's prospective students. It is lovely to see how excited they all are about starting college next year. I envy them a little - all those choices to make, so many options, so many opportunities!

I envy Stephen a little too - he seems to be really enjoying university, and making the most of the experience. He is lucky to be at such a good university, and in such an amazing city to boot. He came home for supper on Friday night (first time we'd seen him in a month), so we were able to catch up with him. It was good having the family together again; after Bobby and I went up to bed we could hear the three kids downstairs, laughing about something or other...It's a lot quieter with only two at home...

It'll be just Bobby and me at home tomorrow night - Em'll be working, and Sophie's going to a sleepover. Much as I like having everyone home, I can't deny that I'm looking forward to an evening on our own!

Losing the plot?

Last week I plumbed new depths of disorganisation.

I needed to pick up a gift for someone before work, so I drove in (normally I walk), parked in the Morrison's car park (local grocery store) and walked down the high street to M&S. Bought a gift, and a gift bag, and a card - and walked back down the high street to college, forgetting all about the car. The next I thought of it was at 5 that evening, as I wandered around the college car park wondering where on earth I'd parked it. Finally a dim memory of walking down the high street worked its way up into my consciousness, and I realised what I'd done. I'm such an idiot; that fit of absent-mindedness is probably going to cost me £70, as there's a camera in the parking lot which counts you in and out, and the max parking time allowed is 2 hours. So I flinch every time I hear the post arrive. Ugh.

I do worry about my memory; I seem to forget everything unless I write it down. And even then, sometimes I forget. I used to be so good at keeping track of things - not anymore! I guess it's partly due to the fact that I have a lot more to keep track of these days. That, and old age - I'll be 40 in a month...

We're going to start thinking about Christmas this weekend; ideally I'd like to organise it all by the end of the month but I'm not sure we'll manage. College runs till the 18th, we're celebrating my birthday on the 19th, and we're off to Cornwall on the 20th, so, one way and another, it all has to be done before the end of term.

I love this time of year, busy though it is. I bought a beautiful advent calendar on the way home from work today - a pretty one, not a chocky one - can't wait to start opening the windows!

Dark days

I think I'm going to have a hard time this winter.

This will be our fifth winter here, and the first one so far that I'm struggling with.

The days have been getting shorter and shorter, and it's coming up to the time of the year when we only have a few hours of light each day. Right now, it's 4.30 and the sun's already set. And it's going to get steadily darker and colder for the next six weeks.

It's so frustrating, having such a short daylight period. I would like to go for a bike ride now, for instance, but cycling through the dark is not terribly pleasant - one can't exactly appreciate the scenery. And during the work week, it's dark by the time I get home. I feel sorry for the lower sixth students; this will be the first year that they'll have to go home in the dark - college ends 45 minutes later than their schools did, and most of them - specially the ones from south London - have quite a trip home.

Ugh.

One plus about the current season is that it's not difficult to get up in time to see the sun rise. We went for a run yesterday morning; it was beautiful. Blue sky, sun (albeit sun with no heat in it). Slightly spoiled by the fact that I have a hacking cough, so had to stop every now and then to gasp and wheeze...





I do enjoy seeing the seasons change.

It's just the dark gets me down...

And I'm slightly stressed about some work issues. I don't have a single difficult student (touch wood), I'm on top of my prep, my marking is more or less under control - but I'm having minor difficulties with a colleague. I probably shouldn't write about it here, but he is behaving quite unprofessionally, and I don't know what, if anything, to do about it. The issue is, we share a class (each teach 50% of the contact sessions) and I found out that he's making undermining remarks about me to the class. They told me that he suggested to them that they play what he calls "teacher tennis" to see their behaviour would affect my teaching. This is something he mentioned to me before - where one side of the class is noisy, so the teacher focuses her attention on them, then the other side is noisy, so the teacher focuses there - etc etc - like a tennis game, back and forth. The student who told me this said "but it didn't work, you seemed to clock what was going on as soon as we started, and you sat down at the front of the class and started calling on individuals". Now, I have no recollection of this incident, and I'm grateful that my classroom management skills were obviously enough to nip it in the bud. But - how unprofessional of him to suggest such a thing to the class! And, how do I know what's he's going to say or do next? I have no idea how to deal with this - whether to say something to him, or just leave it, or tell someone else ... the particularly awkward thing is that he is the head of department. I have visions of, if I mention it to him, then him going back to the class and telling them not to let on next time he does something similar... I would never dream of talking about another teacher to a class, let alone suggesting ways to make their life difficult!

Ugh.

Six more weeks till Christmas break...

Rainy Days (and Sundays)

Grey windy darkness today. It's dreary, and depressing.

Yesterday was busy - it was a surprise family celebration for my uncle, and my cousins had flown in from France and Switzerland for the weekend. So we got to hang out with all the baby cousins - well, the cousins' babies - who were multi-lingually adorable. Between them, they - or at least, the ones who have got to the verbal stage - speak Swiss-German, French, Italian and English. So that was lovely, and reminded me of how sweet toddlers and babies are. Sweet, and noisy. I loved that stage when mine were in it, but I wouldn't like to go back to it.

Sadly, though, we hardly saw Bobby this weekend; he worked flat-out. He's home now, though, and the implementation went really well, so he is (justifiably) proud. I like the fact that he's good at what he does.

After my parents left today I sorted out my lessons for tomorrow. I am ready for the week, but am feeling distinctly uninspired. I enjoyed my week off, but it didn't feel quite long enough. Hopefully the adrenaline of facing my classes will make me more enthusiastic (specially as I am teaching all 8 periods tomorrow); right now, the prospect of the next seven weeks seems rather bleak. I think it's the post-PGCE "what-now" feeling - I have the permanent job I wanted - but what's the next goal?

Pleasantly tired

Just got back from a little run with Sophie.

It was lovely - we went through the park, up to the ridge of the hill (Sophie says she feels like a rabbit when we go along that bit, tired from all the hopping), back down through the woods, round the duckpond, past the allotments, through the fields, past the horses and along the footpath back home.

Reminds me of the Bears In the Night book I loved so much as a five year old.

It's not yet five, but the sun set twenty minutes ago, which makes me feel that it's time to start cooking, even though none of us is hungry yet. I think I am programmed to start thinking about dinner as the sun sets. This is why I want to start cooking before 3.30 in winter (when I'm still at work) and can't bear to begin till 9.30 or 10 at the height of summer.

Tomorrow my parents arrive; they'll be spending two nights with us. I spent today marking and doing lesson prep; still got quite a bit to do before they arrive... and I suppose I should probably do a spot of cleaning as well... I need more hours in each day. How I wish I could give up sleep... If I did, that would make two of us, as poor Bobby is not sleeping well at the moment. He's very stressed about this weekend's implementation, so he struggles to fall asleep, and is awake by 4 every morning. His curse (and blessing) is that he really cares about what he does, to the extent that it affects his health at times. I hate it when he's so stressed while I'm on holiday - knowing that he's miserable makes it impossible for me to feel completely happy.

Half Term

Thank God. I really need this break.

Nine days of freedom - and three of them have already flown by.

The days are going to get shorter and shorter from now on, because the clocks went back yesterday. Soon I'll be teaching the last period of the day, and notice that it's pitch black outside...But on the plus side, I love the whole run up to Christmas, all the lights and the decorations, and the carols...

Yesterday was fun, albeit tiring. We went into London, because Bobby needed to take his poor drowned iPhone into the Apple store (you can read about his emotional trauma at his blog). We thought we'd make a day of it - do a bit of shopping (winter coats for the girls), and take Stephen out for a meal. It was a good day, but I was knackered when we got home. Oxford Street was heaving, and it's tiring fighting for pavement space with so many other people. The meal - very late lunch or very early supper - was absolutely delicious, and revived us all. But then, we got on the world's slowest train for the return trip. Instead of the journey taking the usual 30 minutes, it took us more than half an hour just to get to East Croydon. We stopped - for ages - at stations I'd never heard of before. And we had to change three times. This, as Bobby pointed out endlessly, is what happens when one travels without an iPhone.

Today has been pleasant too. I have cleaned the house (no more of that this half-term), eaten cookies baked by Emily, done the ironing (I love the smell of ironing water) and finished my book. Ian McEwan is now officially my current favourite author.

Not sure what we'll do tomorrow, but I'm going to try to make myself go for a run before breakfast. The weather is absolutely stunning at the moment, and I know it won't last. This was Sheffield Park Gardens last weekend ... beautiful colours...



My parents will be spending this weekend with us, so I should get my marking and prep out of the way before they arrive. Then, we have a big family gathering happening on Sunday - a combination welcome party for my cousin's new baby girl, and a surprise 70th birthday party for my uncle. It will be interesting to meet up with all the cousins again. Bobby won't be able to join us, though - he's going to be working all weekend. I will miss him - at events like that, it is so nice to be to catch his eye at certain moments and know that we're both thinking the same sort of thing... I am glad we are still in love. Someone I work with - actually, two people I work with - really seem to dislike their partners, and see them as nothing more than income sources. It's depressing listening to them - it must be grim to have annoyance as the primary emotion that you feel towards your spouse.

Sunday night

Took this on this evening's bike ride. It was grey and drizzly all day today, so when the sun finally came out at about 5.30 we seized the opportunity to get outside.

The sunset was very gentle, all pink and blue. The view is of the golf course, as you emerge from the trees in the first picture.



I am currently procrastinating after having enjoyed a lovely leisurely Sunday night dinner with the family; I have a folder full of marking that must be dealt with before tomorrow. I should actually have two folders full, but I forgot one at work on Friday. Can't say I'm devastated about that...

This morning...

We paused on our run this morning to take this picture... Still can't get over how lucky we were to land up here.

The rest of the day has been tending to sicky Sophie (who has a horrible hacking cough and headache), taking Ems for her cervical cancer vaccine (ow) and cleaning (four loads of washing currently hanging on the line). So, nothing special... but the autumn sun makes the mundane seem beautiful.

Another week

Ah, Friday. Bliss.

Tuesday night's Open Evening at college tired me out. It is weirdly exhausting answering the same questions again and again... and again. My least favourite question: "So what is Psychology, exactly?". Also annoying are the parents who either studied Psychology themselves, and want to talk about it, and the ones who always wanted to study it, but didn't. It depresses me, seeing their bored offspring shuffling and trying to escape while their parents wax lyrical. And then there are the pushy parents (and when I wear my parent hat I must admit I'm one of these myself) who ask searching questions about AB percentages and class sizes and league tables. I don't mind those ones, actually, our results are good enough that I can answer all those questions very smugly. All the insincere smiling wears me out, though. And it's a very long day - in at work by 8.30, and we're only done with the open evening at 9pm. We've got the second open evening on Tuesday - not looking forward to it, I must say.

The work weeks go by so quickly these days. Still, busy as I am, it's better than last year. No more horrible Greenwich assignments, and I only have to be observed once. (In fact, since I'm mentoring someone, I am sometimes on the other side of the observation process these days - which feels sort of strange...) I live in hope of getting far enough ahead that I don't have to work over the weekend, but it's not happened yet. It's lucky that I actually do enjoy my work...

However, despite the marking and prep I'll have to squeeze in, I'm looking forward to a peaceful weekend, sleeping in with Bobby, hanging out with the girls, going for a run, doing some baking, and of course reading... I started Ian McEwan's Saturday last night and ended up reading till almost 1. Which may explain why I was dragging by 4.15 this afternoon...

Glad it's Friday

Poor Sophie.

Today was the day of her blood tests - fasting blood tests, at that.

Things could have gone better.

We were at the hospital just before 8 (the blood taking department opens for business at 8, and if you get there right as it opens you can be in and out in 10 minutes). We were both rather hungry (I hadn't eaten or drunk either, in solidarity with Soph...) but in good spirits. But, the second after I'd driven into the carpark, I realised that I'd left the pathology form at home. Aaargh. It's one of those annoying carparks that gives you a ticket, you pay at a machine inside the hospital, and then use your ticket again to drive out. So I'd have to walk all the way into the hospital, pay, and then go home again... But luckily Bobby hadn't left home yet, so he brought the form over to us. So, slightly stressful, but no crisis.

Because of the delay, 10 people had got in before us, so we had to wait for about 45 minutes to be seen.

Once in the blood-taking room, there was another delay because the nurse had to find out what one of the tests - the key one - was. (I'm glad she asked; a while ago when Ems had some bloods done they tested her for glandular fever instead of IGF-1. Unsurprisingly, she tested negative).

The nurse had to draw quite a few vials of blood, and Sophie was doing really well, until, while the second vial was being done, she said she could hear her pulse beating - then her eyes rolled back in her head, she went a nasty grey colour, and she passed out cold. The bit that scared me was that she was kind of twitching while she was unconscious. It only lasted for a minute or so, and then she recovered consciousness... Scary for both of us, though. And she felt really rough when she came round. The nurses were very sweet; they were outraged that the doctor had scheduled such a big array of fasting tests when only one - and a non-essential one at that - strictly needed to be done fasting. They sent us off to go get some food and drink into Sophie, and then bumped us back to the front of the queue for the remaining tests. Sophie was very brave again - and, fortunately, there was no more fainting.

I thought Sophie might want the day off school after her unpleasant morning, and I was ready to phone in to work and ask them to organise cover for me, but she said she was fine and wanted to go to school. So that's what she did. Tough little cookie.

Let's just hope that all the tests come back completely normal, so we can steer well clear of hospitals for the forseeable future.

The movie last night was really good. I don't usually enjoy thrillers all that much, but I found this one gripping. I could actually feel my heart racing during the tense bits - so odd, that watching something that I knew was not real could affect my body so dramatically.

I've been tired today, though. I think having a full teaching load, and teaching on three courses, is catching up with me. So I am treating myself to an afternoon and evening off. I left work as soon as I'd finished teaching today (and of course, I will pay for that on the weekend, as Wednesday afternoons are my prep times) but I think it'll be worth it. So this afternoon, instead of working, I had my hair cut - and by a decent hairdresser, not by gruesome leaves-bald-patches girl - and then I bought myself a new sweater, and the new Nick Hornby book. So tonight after dinner there'll be no marking, and no lesson preparation. And also no run. Instead, there'll be a hot bath, snuggly pjs, a cup of tea and maybe a biscuit or two, and my new book. Aaaah.